Idenity
by Alice Forshadow
Summary: Radar lost something very important- his nametag. With inspection only a few hours away, he enlists the help of Nell to find the important nametag- even if it means he may have to go through a dumpster.


**Once again, another exciting SpongeBob based adventure!**

 **And also merry Christmas folks!**

 **Happy holidays to all! My bleated present to you all- another hilarious oneshot! In this adventure, we meet up with Radar, who, after the adventures of season 2, lost something very important.**

 **I have eaten way too many candy canes and am on a massive sugar rush!**

 **I hope you enjoy!**

It was closing time at Stacy and Stampy's cake and pumpkin pie shop. Stacy was finishing her crossword puzzle while Stampy finished wiping down the counter.

"Great, I lost my pen." Stacy said out loud.

"You can borrow mine." Stampy told her, handing Stacy a pen.

"Thanks." Stacy responded happily.

"I lost something once. Something that couldn't be replaced."

The adorable couple looked at Radar, who was sitting at the table near them.

"My identity." Radar finished quickly, dramatically.

"Um- we have to go." Stampy said, looking at the clock on the wall.

"It was last Thursday- the day that I lost my identity." Radar continued.

"Not again." Stacy sighed.

* * *

Radar woke up early that morning. He happily jumped out of bed and looked at his alarm clock.

"Oh no! I'm late!" Radar exclaimed quickly, jumping out of bed. Radar tried to walk down the hallway to the bathroom, but because he couldn't see where he was going because he didn't have his glasses, he went the wrong way and fell down the stairs.

After getting back up and putting on his glasses, Radar ran to the kitchen to get some breakfast and to feed his pet rabbit. ***Author's note: Yeah I know, I gave Radar a pet rabbit.**

"Hey there Cottontail." Radar said, petting the rabbit gently. "I'll get you something to eat."

Radar pulled out a bag of rabbit food and poured a little into the rabbit's bowl.

"You know, I've been feeding you the same brand every day and I have no idea what it tastes like." Radar told his pet rabbit.

I bet you can guess what happened next.

"That was the worst thing I ever tasted in my life. Good thing I won't have to do that again!" Radar exclaimed. Then he remembered that he was running late to work. He quickly got dressed, brushed his teeth, and ran out the door.

"Hi Radar!" exclaimed Nell, bringing in her mail.

"Hi Nell!" exclaimed Radar.

* * *

"Question." Stampy said. "Who's Nell?"

"More importantly, why did you try to see what rabbit food tastes like?" asked Stacy.

"A good story cannot be rushed." said Radar. "But I will skip to when I got to work that day."

* * *

Radar was walking to the headquarters when a fangirl ran up to him and took a picture on her phone.

"I'm such a fan!" she exclaimed, looking at the photo one her phone. "That's weird- you usually wear a nametag."

"Don't worry- I should have it on right here!" Radar exclaimed, pointing to the place on his jacket where he thought his nametag was.

"I don't see it." the fangirl responded. "But thanks for the photo!"

The fangirl skipped away to show all her friends her picture with Radar.

Radar looked to the spot on his jacket he was pointing.

No nametag.

Radar sprinted to the Order of the Stone's headquarters rather quickly.

* * *

Radar ran into the meeting room where Binta was talking to Lukas.

"Guys! Something horrible happened! I lost my nametag!" Radar exclaimed.

"Calm down Radar." said Lukas. "Everyone already knows you. You don't need one anymore." Lukas told Radar.

"But- without my nametag- to strangers, they will never know me." said Radar. Sad violin music began playing. Lukas looked at Axel, who was playing the world's tiniest violin in the background. Axel stopped playing the violin and walked away.

"What if someone is already using it to rob a bank?" Radar asked, panicked. "I'm innocent!"

That was when Radar fainted into Binta's arms. The fangirls who had been waiting at the window, taking pictures of Lukas, started taking pictures of the rising pairing.

Radar started to come to.

"What happened?" Radar asked.

"You panicked because you lost your nametag." Binta replied.

"What?" Radar asked, jumping to his feet and looking at his jacket. "I don't have my nametag on! Oh my gosh!"

"Calm down- when is losing your nametag the end of the world?" asked Binta. "No need to panic."

"Guys, just wanted to let you know-" Jesse said, looking in. "There's a uniform check in one hour. Anyone who doesn't pass gets the boot!"

Jesse then held up a leather boot.

"This one. It's very stinky and you're going to have to wear it all day." She responded. Then she walked away.

"Okay. Now panic." Binta responded.

"Wait-" Lukas replied. "Why don't you just retrace your steps."

"Retrace my steps?" asked Radar. "That's genius!"

"Genuis?" Lukas asked. "Well, thank you, I like t come up with my ideas-"

"Stall for me if I'm late coming back?"

"Sure. Genius- HEY!"

* * *

"Hey Radar!" Nell exclaimed, waving to him as Radar went back to his house to retrace his steps.

"Hey Nell-" Radar started to say as he walked past her. Then he realized something and ran back.

"You said hi to me this morning." Radar said.

"I always say hi to you." Nell responded.

"I need you to say hi to me again." Radar quickly said.

"When was that part of the deal?" Nell exclaimed.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't say hi to everyone. I say it out of the goodness of my heart beacsue I love-"

"But I lost my nametag!"

"I'm in!"

* * *

"You know what to do?" asked Radar.

"Yep! All I do is just say hi to you!" exclaimed Nell.

Radar walked inside his house and reenacted everything that happened that morning. Including the painful things.

Then he walked outside past Nell.

Nell was texting on her phone.

"Nell! You were supposed to say hi to me!" Radar exclaimed.

"Huh?" Nell asked, looking up from her phone. "Oh, hi!"

"From the top..." Radar sighed.

* * *

Radar reenacted everything again and walked outside.

Nell was taking selfies on her phone.

"Nell!" exclaimed Radar.

"Well what's my motivation?" asked Nell.

"Forget the motivation! Just. Say. Hi!" Radar exclaimed.

Nell looked at Radar.

"Hi."

* * *

The next time, Nell remembered to say hi, at least.

"Hi Nell!" she exclaimed. "Wait, I'm Nell. Sorry, try that again."

* * *

"Hi Julianne! Wait, who's Juileanne? That's a girls name! " Nell asked the next time, laughing "Next take, next take."

"What's the use? Inspection is in half an hour and I don't want to fall down the stairs again!" Radar exclaimed.

"Well, what did you do on your way to work?" asked Nell.

"Well, I walked, greeted a few fans, and that was it." Radar explained. "And these two guys threw me in a dumpster."

* * *

Radar imminently regretted that last part when an all too eager Nell brought him to the local dumpster.

"It smells awful!" exclaimed Radar.

"That is merely the stench of discovery!" exclaimed Nell, jumping into the dumpster happily. She then grabbed Radar and tried to pull Radar in with her, but he held on like his very life depended on it."

"How are you holding onto the edge like that?" asked Nell.

"I'm Spider Man." Radar responded.

Nell gave him a weird look before pulling Radar into the garbage can.

"GERMS!" Radar exclaimed, trying to wipe his hands off.

"It's not bad once you get used to it." said Nell.

Radar eventually decide his nametag was more important than getting E Coil and started to dig through the trash.

"Radar." Nell said.

"I'm looking!" Radar exclaimed.

"RADAR!" yelled Nell.

Radar turned and saw Nell splattered with garbage.

"Oh." Radar said, trying to wipe off Nell's garbage splattered hair with his jacket.

* * *

Jesse was walking in through the back door when he saw Radar and Nell climbing in the dumpster.

"There you are!" Jesse exclaimed. "What are you two doing in there?"

"Discovery!" Nell exclaimed.

"Okay, Nell- I think that this is normal for you- but Radar, what are you doing there?" asked Jesse.

"Jesse, I can't find my nametag!" Radar exclaimed. "And inspection is in two minutes! This job means a lot to me and I don't want to lose it or get the boot!"

"Radar- you want this job so bad you would jump into a dumpster just to get your nametag back?" asked Jesse.

"Please don't fire me!" begged Radar.

Jesse handed Radar his nametag.

"What?" asked Radar.

"I found it on your desk when you left work last night." Jesse responded. "I thought that I would give you a little test."

"Did I pass?" Radar asked.

"Not the way I though you would, but yes." Jesse responded. "But avoid dumpster diving at all costs next time around."

"I will!" exclaimed Radar, getting out of the dumpster.

Jesse, Radar, and Nell walked into the Order of the Stone headquarters. Olivia passed by. She stopped for a minute.

"What's that smell?" she asked.

The other three looked at each other and responded.

"Discovery."

* * *

"Well, that took just right about twenty minutes." Stacy replied, looking at her watch. "At least it had a moral on responsibility."

 **I started and finished this story a few Friday nights! I hope you enjoyed!**

 **This is Alice Foreshadow, heading back down the rabbit hole!**


End file.
